“Jackson DeWitt”
Occupation: Architect of some kind. Sees himself as a bigshot.
Favorite Comics: Vintage and rare prints. Don’t ask which, just find them for him.
Favorite Movies: The Third Man, The Conversation, Goodfellas, Taxi Driver
Heroes: Leonardo Da Vinci, Frank Lloyd Wright, Gene Roddenberry, George Lucas
Best Known For: Impeccable taste in comics, knowledge of unusual trivia
Musical Taste: Mozart, Chopin, Beethoven, Bach
Dislikes: Sprawling crossovers, spies, vacant lots with palpable potential for growth, shock jocks, bad writing
Analysis: “You know, I can’t knock the guy too much, because he spends more money and time in this store than any other customer. And even though he tortures Leslie, he is trying to get the poor shmo to grow a backbone. I just wish he’d stop missing the dart board. That wall has a million holes now!”- Bobby
“He’s great around the holidays- he helps bookies and newbies find presents without ever having met them before. He reminds me of an older brother.”- Mack
“Jackson is a wonderful person and has a very nice fashion sense…okay, now that I’ve written down what he told me to, I just have to say that although Jackson is a regular bookie, the man needs serious psychological help. He thinks I do his bidding for him, when in actuality I just know it’s, you know, the only thing that will shut him up! That and, you know, he scares me.”- Leslie
CONFIDENTIAL: “Dewitt is a bookie of extreme interest. His spirit is impossible to break and though he probably doesn’t need to go to the store to get his pulls, he chooses to anyway. He’s loud and abrasive, but the workers and customers seem to like him. A worthy find…”
“Madeline”
(a.k.a. that cheery Goth girl)
Occupation: College freshman
Favorite Comics: HeroBear, We3, Bone, Inyusha, Bleach
Favorite Movies: Howl’s Moving Castle, My Neighbor Totoro, Reservoir Dogs, Wizard of Oz
Heroes: Mihyasaki, Emily Dickinson, Edgar Allan Poe, Jackie Chan
Best Known For: Scaring the crap out of customers with deep thoughts; most likely to be mistaken for a trick-or-treater in April
Musical Taste: Nirvana, Smashmouth, Red Hot Chili Peppers
Dislikes: Late deliveries, close-minded people, emo music, stereotypes
Analysis: “I could swear she started coming here in, um, I think it was middle school and maybe I’m just thinking of someone else, but I thought she was a cheerleader. This would pre-date the current continuity with the semi-gothic costuming…I mean, wardrobe. But you’ll never meet a nicer person.”- Leslie
“Talking to Madeline is like stop-and-go traffic on the parkway. One sec she’ll be deadlocked and dreary an’ the next she’s zoomin’ along at a million miles an hour.”- Bobby
“Thank God for Madeline! And they said there was a shortage of girls in comic book stores. Sure, the ratio swings more towards the male side of life, but Madeline is a prime example of a (fairly) well adjusted woman enjoying a comic book hobby. Anyone says differently and they will be dealing with Blanche (Bobby’s note: Blanche is Mack’s sword, because Madeline dubbed it her golden girl and it always makes people get all pale like). – Mack
CONFIDENTIAL: Miss Madeline claims to hate it when people try to be things that they aren’t when she may be a prime example of just that. But to get to her, you have to get through her partner…
“Edgar”
(Last name currently classified – we think. He always pays cash.)
Occupation: ex-Special Forces operative; bouncer
Favorite Comics: Punisher, Constantine, Detective Comics
Heroes: Major Richard Winters of Easy Company; George Washington, George S. Patton
Best Known For: Gold medallist in the 500 meter shoplifter toss; allegedly tying Chuck Norris in an arm wrestling competition
Musical Taste: Unknown.
Dislikes: Shoplifters. People plotting against the store. Loud noises. Anyone who threatens Madeline.
Analysis: “He’s great. I barely ever have to lift a finger to make sure the Rules of Fire are enforced. He does the heavy liftin’ so I can do the heavy drinkn’!”- Bobby
“While I’ve never been able to fully comprehend exactly what he’s saying, uh, Edgar seems to be, you know, on our side. He’s our Boba Fett- he doesn’t need to say much, just glare, cross his arms and occasionally blast someone out the front door.”- Leslie
“Unbelievably deep! His grasp on literature and politics and history are so advanced…how he isn’t a professor somewhere is beyond me. But for now, we’re just glad to have him as our muscle. Seriously, if that stupid skater punk harasses me one more time…” – Mack
CONFIDENTIAL: He’s just scary. No one knows what he is thinking and only women can understand him, which puts us at the disadvantage overall. Extremely protective of the goth girl though, and probably Mackenzie as well. Use the chivalrous streak to our advantage…
“Leslie Michaels”
Occupation: Manager; tutor (history and philosophy); surf instructor
Favorite Comics: Y: The Last Man, Action Comics, Transformers, Amazing Spider-man
Favorite Movies: Harvey, Rudy, North by Northwest, Swingers
Musical Taste: The Beatles, John Williams
Heroes: Cary Grant, Benjamin Franklin, PT Barnum
Best known for: Being Jackson DeWitt’s underling, 57 Consecutive Days of Flawless Drawer Countdowns
Dislikes: Greasy fingers, disorder in the stacks, people who secretly use foreign coins when they pay, broken glass
Analysis: “I dunno what I’d do without good ‘ol Les. Guy can put out the new pulls by himself in less than ten minutes. ‘Course, he’d prolly burst into flames after, but it’s not like we don’t have a scorch stain or two on the rug already.”- Bobby
“Considering some of the dedicated fans we have that come into this store, it’s crucial that we have Leslie on staff. He knows every customer, can rattle off their pulls, can track down anything in the hundreds of back issues and he never complains when a customer gets snippy. He’s like one of the Transformers he’s always reading about though- there’s definitely more to him than meets the eye.”- Mack
CONFIDENTIAL: “His weakness lies in his malleability. He can be manipulated and bullied. But he shows spirit when called on. Watch him closely.”
“Roberta ‘Bobby’ Shane”
Occupation: Manager
Favorite Comics: Evil Dead, Archie, anything by Frank Miller
Favorite Movies: Pulp Fiction, Shaft, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Snow White
Heroes: Gene Simmons, Ozzy Osbourne, Janis Joplin, Frank Sinatra
Best Known For: ability to hold her liquor, sleeping in the store after hangovers, karaoke skills
Musical Taste: ACDC, Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix Dislikes: Overpriced booze, variant covers, whining, people who spit gum onto the sidewalk
Analysis: “Well…you know, she uh…she has a way of dealing with trouble in the form of, well, whiskey. That having been said, she has never missed a day of work and no one has ever gotten away with shop lifting between her and Edgar. Some people would disagree with her methods, but she rules this kingdom of paper with an iron fist (and flask).”- Leslie
“Bob is like that crazy aunt you have at parties. You can’t wait to see her, but at the same time, you wonder how much they’re going to have at the bar and what they’ll say after they’ve had one too many. Still, she has been like family to most of us, and is never afraid to lend a few bucks if you’re short for lunch. And you’ve gotta hear her sing!”- Mack
CONFIDENTIAL: “Surprisingly difficult to bribe or gain information from. As independent as they come. Despite the drinking, she is surprisingly sharp.”
“Zeke Oros”
Occupation: shelver/clerk; college student
Favorite Comics: Flight, Planetary, Sandman, Preacher
Favorite Movies: Evil Dead, Clockwork Orange, The Time Machine
Musical Taste: The Clash, The Killers, David Bowie
Heroes: Neil Gaiman, Jim Steranko, Kurt Vonnegut, Ray Bradbury
Best known for: Human magnet for oddball customers
Dislikes: Pushy people, cleaning the bathroom, pretentiousness
Analysis: “He seems to be a nice enough person. I don’t know about his comic book taste, but he hasn’t bossed me around once, so there’s at least that. He’s like Luke in A New Hope though- he doesn’t always make the smart choice, but his heart is in the right place. Does that make me Obi-Wan? That would be kind of cool…and that would make Jackson my Darth Vader…oh boy…”- Leslie
“Kid always looks like he’s waiting for someone to jump out with a camera or somethin’. Says he had some weird experiences workin’ in other stores, but he’s still all jittery. But he’s trying!”- Bobby
“Zeke just needs a chance. Some of the people we have come in here are a bit off kilter, but they love comics as much as he does and he knows that.”- Mack
CONFIDENTIAL: “Like everyone else in the store, he’s hiding something. He’s being distracted, and I fear a stressor could result in his allying with another store or worse. Remain vigilant- he could be a double agent, despite what Dewitt says.”
“Mackenzie ‘Mack’ Riley”
Occupation: clerk, Comic Relief; part time grad student
Favorite Comics: Daredevil, Superman, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Favorite Movies: A Few Good Men, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Three Faces of Eve, Sixteen Candles
Heroes: Amelia Earhart, Katherine Hepburn, Mary Shelley, Abigail Adams
Best Known For: Swordsmanship, Averaging 4.5 seconds in change dispensation
Musical Taste: Aerosmith, Janis Joplin, Queen, Tom Petty, KISS
Dislikes: Law breakers, DVD bootleggers, excessive cleavage in comics, the elemental flaws in the justice system
Analysis: “We’d do anything for Mack. When she moved into town, we figured she would just pick up her books every once and a while and that would be it. Next thing you know, she was re-arranging the stacks for me. That was BEFORE she was on the payroll!”- Bobby
“She’s our Wonder Woman! I mean, I have other jobs, but she’s got another part time job, plus she’s taking those night classes to be a lawyer…how does she find time to sleep?!”- Leslie
CONFIDENTIAL: “She is fiercely loyal to the store and to its image. Pride can be a weakness, and that temper of hers needs to be monitored, or it may be her undoing. The leading concern is the schedule she maintains- I feel she is lying to herself and to all of us when she says she is perfectly fine.”
